Here I will share the story of a life full of miracles. I will share with you my hope. The lessons that I have learned, most important of which is, when we think we aren't enough, and we can't, its ok. Because God is and can. All you have to do is trust in Him. If I can, surely you can too.
I grew up in church. Grew up reading the bible. I could quote you verses in my sleep. Had read it cover to cover by the time I was 9. But that didn't stop heartache from entering my life. In fact, I'm that person, that if it CAN happen it WILL happen in my life. By the time I was 30 I had endured unspeakable heartache and pain, I had been molested as a child by someone I trusted, been abandoned by a parent that later decided to re-enter my life, been married and divorced twice, lost five pregnancies to miscarriage at different stages. In my second marriage I endured a living hell of abuse at the hands of a drug addicted sociopath. I had four children, two of whom were not expected to survive. I was accused of all sorts of unspeakable abuse to my children (from neglect to over-medicating them, to beating them) and almost had them taken away. I was publicly accused of having an affair with a dear friend who I had never even been alone with. I was told that one of my children would not live to be 6 months old. To take her home and love her until she died. I had to watch her endure unending pain, and seizures. I had to watch another child cling to life. And I released both of them to God.
But I am blessed immeasurably. While I released both of my babies to God, He has so far left them with me. I get to see miracles happen every day. My child that was supposed to die before she was 6 months old and never be more than an infant in ability is almost 5. She can walk, is starting to talk. She understands so much. She has a smile that will light up a room. Her sister was born weighing 1 lb and wasn't supposed to live 24 hours. We were told if she did survive she would have no quality of life, it was just impossible with how early she was born. Shes almost four and is amazingly normal, even with her limitations.
I haven't lost hope, even though no one who heard my story would be surprised if I did. Instead, I praise God every day. I thank Him for allowing me to see miracles up close and personal on a daily basis. I have endured heartache and pain on a level so deep it shattered me, and yet I am whole. I have hope. I can still love. Even if I cannot forget, I have forgiven. Because His grace is sufficient. He has carried me through each storm, and brought me through the other side.
